We decided to try, once
more, to find a way to integrate into American society because it was where we
felt most at ease. We had criticized the culture, but it had formed much of our
outlook. England would always be “home” to me in the same way that our parents’
house is home, but I could never return there to live because I didn’t belong
anymore. Canada was a brief but pleasant interval in my childhood, but I didn’t
belong there either. More than anywhere else, George and I realized that we
both belonged in the United States of America.
A nation, just like a
person, is shaped by the small decisions that nudge it ever forward. If we
didn’t like the shape of our country, if we wanted to change the direction of
those decisions, then we realized we had to take responsibility for helping to
make them. We would speak up when saw something wrong, vote for representatives
to make laws we could support, and contribute in some way to the people in our
community—through our neighbors, our church, and our schools. A nation, like a
family member, has faults. If we were to live in peace in the U.S. we knew we
would have to forgive its transgressions and learn how to live with those
faults. We might get angry at times, but we could not pretend any more to be
above it all, to stand back and criticize and complain about conditions we
found without doing anything. We would, instead, sigh our exasperated sighs,
then analyze how to make things better.
We had tried to create a
new life in Italy and we did not succeed, but many good things came of our
efforts. We had exposed our children to the customs of their ancestors,
reconnected them to their relatives, and we had enabled them to forge a link
with children of the community. All of
this would stay with them and help shape the way they viewed other countries and
other people in the world. We had met Italians who were kind, who were
generous, and who were just as hard-working and driven as people anywhere else.
They were thriving in their own environment, but we just didn’t fit. Even
though we took a chance on a new way of life and failed, I don’t regret for one
moment the time we spent there. It opened my heart and my mind to another
culture, it provided the clean air and the peace that we needed, and it was an
essential component in my personal growth.
NOTE: The story of our move to Italy
starts with "Arrival"
on the June 26, 2017 blog post.
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